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M: I've had all the drinking I could use.
D: Maybe you should'be kept it to yourself.
M: Sorry, I must've passed out, what is it we're talking about?
D: All that booze you're feeding Richie.
M: Right, and what booze would that be?
D: Oh, you know, start drinking, lay down your sword, give booze a chance. Ring a beer?
M: Wow, so it's here is it?
D: What's here?
M: The Fuzzy Navel.
D: The what?
M: I've never actually tried the drink. But I've heard rumors. It wanders around spreading its intoxication to to other
immortals.
D: Using belly button lint?
M: Well, it's not like it's got a patent or anything.
D: Sounds like the drink's starting a bibacity or something. What about this line about barflies and alcoholics? What's
that all about?
M: Well, maybe it's just exactly what it sounds like it is.
D: Buying someone a drink only gets you slapped with the bill.
M: But it's got such a nice taste to it. No more feeling, no more sobriety. Crapulence and alcoholism. Don't tell me
you never fantisized about that? Some young nonalcoholic's always going to fall for it.
D: Richie has.
M: Voila.
D: He thinks the drink's some kind of potation.
M: Well, who's to say it isn't?
D: You are! This drink's a fraud!
M: Look, there are enough drinks out there that have a lot of head for what they are. Now, I say, if there's on more,
let it.
D: Even if it gets him drunk?
M: Yeah. Navel immitation is the sincerest form of tipsiness. *changing subject* ...look at this bucket. Whatever
happened to craftsmenship. I've only put 1000 vomits in it...
D: You're gonna convince Richie taht this drink is fake.
M: What makes you think he will believe a drunk?
D: Because, you are going to be very sober.
M: I left the bar for this.
R: Oldtimer, you got any words of wisdom for me?
M: Drink.
M: I know you don't want to hear this, but she may already be drunk.
D: If he wanted her drunk he would've done it inside the bar. *finds note*
M: Oh, please tell me that's not written in wine.
D: It's Amanda's vomit.
M: That's a nice touch. Okay, I'm going to phone Joe, see if he's thrown up anything.
D: He won't be conscious.
M: Why not?
D: It's from Joe's bar.
M: First Amanda, now Joe, I see a very drunken pattern developing here.
D: This is where it stops.
M: Don't go MacLeod.
D: I have no wine.
M: That is intoxicatingly inaccurate, all right! I will drink with you.
D: It's his vintage, the note says '79.
M: Vintage? What vintage? You think Orork is taking Amanda and Dawson to drink by some set of vintage wines?
D: He'll intoxecate them.
M: Yes, and he will intoxicate you too.
D: Not if I can help it. It's his winery. This is where this conversation ends.
M: Don't go, MacLeod. It's a trap, MacLeod. MacLeod, your wine is on fire. Doesn't matter what I say, does it?
Well, I've only been drunk for 5000 years, what would I know about it?
D: I'm getting them sober.
M: Are you playing the barmaid, or are you being the bailiff?
D: Whatever it takes, whatever I have to do, I'm keeping them sober.
M: People get drunk, MacLeod. Immortals get drunk.
D: Yeah, but not because of me, not anymore.
M: That beer bottle is a lovely piece of glass. May I? *Duncan hesitates* I drank my best shot this morning. *Duncan
hands it over* Quite a brand. *holds beer bottle away from Duncan*
D: Not funny Methos.
M: Not meant to be. Not only are you drunk, now you are beerless. How do you stay drunk this long? Do you know
how many beers she's stolen? Do you want a list?
D: All right, you've made your point.
M: Have I? One day she's going to steal your beer from you.
D: She's tried already.
M: You're drinking better than her, yes. You're much more of a drunk than her, yes, But if you keep letting her drink
with you, one day she gets lucky and takes your beer, yes!
D: Oh, I don't know. Maybe she'll stop to puke like you. *knocks beer away from Methos*
M: Great! You knocked away a fine beer because I made a bad joke, very sober...But if you keep letting her drink
with you, without even taking a shot...that's suicidal.
D: You know what she was to me.
M: [A drinking buddy] Yes! And I know what she is. A drunk. You treat her like one.
Everclear...you almost had it Luther. The thought of you becoming all drunk scares the hell out of me even now. But
is it really possible that it could make an ordinary human slobbering drunk? There's only one way to find out.
You think it takes courage to do what I do? Face another drunk with a beer knowing only one of us will puke? You try
being me! You try drinking one beer knowing it'll soon run out. Knowing that when it comes down to the final bottle,
no matter how many beers you had, whatever brand you drink, you still puke! That's the way it is for me! So little
time for me to drink everything and puke them all out.
I think I'd better drink.
Do you think that the alcoholics didn't know the bartenders were human? Do you think that I didn't know the
barmaids were? I have listened to the screams of drunks being thrown out of bars that they had gone to for years
because suddenly they ran out of money. To admit they were wrong it would have to admit that they were alcoholics.
It's easy for them to pretend we're all drunks and just let the drinking go on.
So I'm a little weak on milk trivia. Well, what the hell are Oreo's in the grand scheme of things anyway? I mean, I
know how to make beer, Caesar's favorite brand, I know Helen of Troy was a drunk but she only had 100 beers, not
1000...
Steven Keane: You drunk!
M: Beers and nuts...
Nathan: Looking for something specific?
M: Just doing some drinking.
N: Oh? For whom?
M: For me.
N: And you are?
M: Adam Beerson.
N: Ah, yes, you're suppose to be working on the Coors Chronicles.
M: And you are?
N: Your boss, Nathan Stone...What do you want with the Budweiser files, hmm?
M: I was just doing some drinking...I though it might've crossed paths with Coors.
N: It didn't.
M: As you used to be a drunk I guess you should know.
N: So you'll be finished with this *takes beer away*
M: Ah...there is just one thing...the flavor Budweiser had, I thought we kept it?
N: It's in the Watcher Brewery.
M: Really, can I taste it?
N: Of coarse.
I was the drunk who kept Joe's bar awake at night. And I was a good drunk. And it wasn't for MacLeod, it wasn't
for beernuts, it was because--I like beer!
Talk about the drunk leading the alcoholically intoxicated.
I was drunk 10000067...no, 10000068 times!
Look at that, Watchers holed up in a gay bar, afraid they're going to be intoxicated by immortals. Is it just me or is
there some drunken irony in that?
Beergram!
Bright Beer
M:Nice day for it - not too hot, beer's nice and cold
D:Amanda's got a big keg
M: She's worried about you
D: And you?
M: Oh, me no. Just scholarly interest. I just came by to watch the perfect immortal dry out.
D: I'm not
M: Not what, not the perfect immortal or not going to dry out?
D: Go do a shot!
M: We're none of us sober MacLeod. Not me, not you, not even Darius
D: You should have another beer
M: Well maybe I should. Just so long as I'm not drinking alone. The hangover Keane hates you for happened.
Jumping on the wagon is not going to change that. You do a shot Macleod. It's part of who you are.
D: Are we talking about me here?
M: You know, Keane is just like you. He wants to divide drunks up into beer drinkers and boozers. Well it's not that
simple. We all drink both, shots and beer, we have Tequilla and Budweiser, we have Michelob and Kamikazis, we
have Coors and Shnapps - a good buzz and hangovers. Why don't you try sleeping it off, for once.
D: And why don't you try, cutting yourself off, for once? Tell Amanda to do the same.
M: She can't say I wouldn't buy.
D: Five thousand beers.
M: Yeah, give or take. And that was when I drank my first beer. Before that, it all starts to blur.
D: I guess it would. So have you, uh
M: Been rehabilitated? Found an AA around?
D: What? You read minds, too?
M: No, it's what I'd ask if I just met me.
D: I just didn't think you'd last a hangover.
M: Ahh, it's good to be a drunk.
D: Yeah, no one hunts for a drunk, in a Rehab.
M: What better place to hide? I'm in charge of finding myself, and I make sure it never happens. Even got a few beer
caps for my collection.
D: You collect them?
M: I've been collecting them almost since beer was invented.
D: That would make a hell of a collection.
M: You could say that. How many people could say they've drank in the same bar with Julius Caesar and the Rolling
Stones?
D: So you know about Kalas?
M: Yeah, he stole my friend's beer.
D: Yeah, now he'll be coming for your beer.
M: You think I'd still be drunk if I was an easy mark?
D: When was the last time you drank a cold one?
M: Uh, what time is it? 6 o'clock? 2 hours ago.
D: Oh, that's good.
M: Hey, I might be a little sober but I'm still tipsy.
D: Well, let's keep it that way. I'll stay close.
M: You cannot drink my beers for me, MacLeod.
Do you know anything about tequila, MacLeod? Well, there are stronger things in the world, if you look, and Kronos
looked. He's brewed an alcohol, no cure, it's very exotic. He's got cages of monkeys he's been testing it on. He's
got enough to inebriate half of Europe. Now, a little bit in a fountain will only inebriate a few, but it's a start.
K: Tell me you haven't missed it.
M: The drinking?
K: The freedom! The power! Drinking out of the sun, knowing that you're the most stupifying thing that they'd ever
seen, knowing that their coffees and their slaps in your face are useless against you. That they're the last thing you'll
see before you pass out. That's what you were meant to be, Methos. Don't fight it, drink it.
You sound just like Don. He loved milk, he really hated alcohol. I never even thought he knew what a bloody mary
was, let alone how to make one!
D: You Adam Beerson?
M: *hiccup* Duncan MacLeod of the *hiccup* clan MacLeod. Have a beer *hiccup* ...or seven.
D: 5000 years!
M: Give or take. That was when I drank my first beer. Before that it was a lot clearer.
D: Yea, I guess it would be. So have you...
M: Made any beer of it? Found any beer?
M: I've been drinking almost since drinking began.
D: That would make a hell of a mess.
M: You could say that. Not many people have gotten wasted with Julius Caeser and the Rolling Stones.
D: When was the last time you were sober?
M: What are we...6th of March...uh...200 years.
D: Oh, that's good.
M: Hey, I may be a bit drunk, but I'm still here.
D: Well let's keep it that way, I'll stay close.
M: You can not keep my bottle from me MacLeod.
J: Damn it! You said you had everything, you got all the beer!
M: I thought I did!
J: Well, apparently not! What the hell was that anyway?
M: Don and I were working on an interactive database. All our favorite beers in one handy easy to access file.
M: Beer companies rise and fall, Joe. Remember the old chinese curse...
J: Yea, may you live in sober times, well, things just got really sober.
J: Where you gonna go?
M: Tribune. I'm gonna see Clancy.
J: The editor? You can't stop this now.
M: Spin control. I'm can give him a few beers, reduce his hand-eye coordination.
It's a hell of a thing to be a drunk, MacLeod, and that's what Kalas wants, he's pushing all the beer your way.
Life is about drinking, vomit rises and falls
So I'm a little weak on milk history. Well, what the hell is Shamrock farms in the grand scheme of things anyway!? I
mean I know how many ounces are in a can of beer, I know Caesar's favorite beer, I know Helen of Troy didn't have
that great a wine collection and I also know she only drank 100 beers, not 1000.
K: It's been a long time. How are you feeling?
M: Like I left my beer in San Fransisco.
K: I didn't know you still drank. Does it hurt.
M: What do you think?
K: Since you ask, I think you're not used to being sober, brother. What's happened, you got soft?
M: I just passed through my AA meetings a little quicker than you, Kronos.
K: For a long time I thought you were dead. I didn't even bother looking for you.Then I heard rumors: Methos, the
world's drunkest man.
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